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4 signs that he is not interested in you

On the first date

4 december 2011 | yours.ie

A challenge is fine and often fun, but who needs the hassle of wasted time, effort and energy? Particularly in this game we call love, it pays dividends to be street-wise to the mores of men's unconscious churnings.

woman touch mans hand
couple read menu restaurant

If it's guidance you need on the subtle signals that herald the making or breaking of a relationship, look no further than the yours.ie guide to the basics of male body language.

Forced or polite smile

In a natural smile, many facial muscle groups will move involuntarily and sometimes independent of each other. The forehead muscles will 'push down', cheeks and jaws will shift position, and the nose may wrinkle.

But in a forced smile - the one you don't want to see on display - only muscle groups directly around the eyes are involved. Forehead, jaw, eye and nose areas remain static. Try it in a mirror to recognise the effect - and avoid any fakers you find in social settings.

Gesture guesses

In cases of deception, physical expression through the use of limb, head or features movement will be noticeably stiff or limited.
The timing and duration of emotional gestures will also be off-kilter. Trust your female intuition here - if it seems or feels odd, the chances are high that you're right.

Take, for example, when the verbal expressions are off-key or out of sync with the emotional signals - frowning whilst saying, 'Yes, I want to', or, when opening a present, saying 'I love it' after the gift has been revealed rather than while it is being revealed.

couple restaurant

The eyes have it

And it's not just the eyes - the associated eye lashes and eyebrows all come into play when it comes to non-verbal communication. In general, maintaining moderate (but not forced) eye contact signals an interest in the opposite party.

The eyebrows are a commonly-used signal for greeting and acknowledgement. It's often called an 'eyebrow flash' - but we warned that a prolonged eyebrow raise or flash signals alarm or fear territory. Or maybe he's just not that into your outfit.

Eyelashes and eyelids are particularly associated with non-verbal flirting communication. Interestingly, studies have shown that men are more inclined to use a wink as a method of flashing their interest or showing flirtatious inclinations - former US president George W. Bush famously got into trouble for throwing a wink at the queen of England back in his non-dignified days.

Pants on fire (liar, liar)

If you've got to the stage that you suspect downright lying, then all the body language expertise in the world isn't going to save this one. But for the record, researchers have found that a lying person will be uncomfortable facing his or her interrogator and may turn the head or body away. He or she may also unconsciously place objects between you like a cup or jug or bag.

Liars sometimes avoid lying by responding with indirect statements. The answers given may be mumbled rather than emphasised, and he or she may speak more sentences or talk for longer than usual in an effort to disguise the truth.

What does your man find sexy?